Mary-Ann Owens and Associates

Resilience Blog

Reaching your goals with Grit

How to Stay Resilient

How to Stay Resilient

This poster represents ways to stay encouraged and resilient. When we use our courage to get up and move forward in our day, good things will eventually happen. 

There are a number of ways to create positive actions in the poster.

  1. Asking ourselves what went well today, helps us to see our skills and the skills in the network of people we have around us. Asking this question generates positive momentum as well. 
  2. Giving ourselves and others the benefit of the doubt is such a positive action. When we see the negatives in ourselves and others the world around us shrinks. However, when we see the positives within ourselves and others the world opens up. 
  3. Network with others and don't be afraid to meet and talk with others. I remember reading somewhere that it only takes one person to change your life. One person can bring another person or opportunity to you. So reach out to others and they will, in turn, reach out to you. Building community is also building support in your work and life. 
  4. Being prepared for meetings and being lively or passionate with others you spontaneously meet leaves a positive impression with others. This can lead to more contact and opportunities. 
  5. Sometimes we dwell on what went wrong in the day. A good way to work with this is to redo the scenario in your imagination making the situation a success. By doing this you are practicing how you want to handle a similar situation in the future. 
  6. In a difficult situation, you can be generative with it by seeing the cup half full. What can you learn and how can you keep working on or trying in this situation? The only time you need to label this a failure is if you quit trying to learn or improve. 
  7. Dive into new areas in your field. What new trends are affecting your field? How can you dive into learning more about them? In this way, you stay on top of areas as they develop. 
  8. Volunteering to do things helps you develop your skillset. Often doing things others don't want to do, like taking notes at a meeting, can help you learn important information that others aren't privy to. 

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What it Takes to Coach for Pride

What it Takes to Coach for Pride

I saw an article in the Globe and Mail on the weekend that outlined how Bob Johnson, the hockey coach, emphasized pride in his coaching. This is a motivating way to coach people and is also important for leaders in organizations. The article stated that this way of coaching was a switch from the aggressive style of coaching using fear and humiliation with hockey players that was common in the early years of hockey.

I bet you are thinking to yourself that coaching for pride would motivate and engage you a lot better than coaching based on fear and humiliation. This is also what they found with hockey players. 

Why would this method of coaching be discussed in a resilience blog? To make coaching for pride happen, the leader or coach needs to ensure they have a positive relationship with themselves. If the leader cannot see what is right for themselves, they won’t be able to see what is right and what they can be proud of in others.

Be aware, though, that some leaders present themselves in an arrogant way, they seem to act as if they are the only ones who have positive qualities. This is actually an insecure way of leading which is not based on a positive sense of self. These leaders need to get feedback from others to verify what they are truly good at. They also need to confirm with others what their skills are and support themselves in those skills.

To gain skills in this method of coaching you may need to:

  1. Start by asking yourself what you did well today. Notice where you feel good about the things you have accomplished. This can range from simple accomplishments such as writing a great email or having a productive conversation to completing a complex project in an effective way. The important thing to acknowledge is that you contributed and made this result happen.
  2. After a period of time focusing on the first point, start to shift your attention to notice what others are doing well. Notice how your team members contribute weekly and with time and increased awareness, you will want to start to notice others' abilities. 
  3. Changing deep beliefs that keep you stuck and focused on what is going wrong, rather than what is going well may require you spending time meditating or working with a coach.

When you are able to have pride in your own accomplishments, you can encourage others to have pride in theirs. 

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