Mary-Ann Owens and Associates

Resilience Blog

Reaching your goals with Grit

What are Your Priorities this Year?

What are Your Priorities this Year?

Over the fall I have been tapping into my body, heart and spirit awareness. I am finding it is so much nicer than letting my mind lead the way.

What is your body trying to tell you? I have often read or heard that your body does not lie to you. What is the truth, welcomed or not, that your body is trying to get through to you?

Doing a scan of your body could help you to understand what you need to be doing. If for instance, your body was really tense, you may be in need of deep relaxation. Or maybe your body is very tired indicating you need rest. These may seem like minor signs but they are not. If you resolve these situations you could benefit and appreciate the positive results. Maybe this is the year for you to start a yoga, tai chi or chi gong practice helping you proactively resolve problems with your body increasing your happiness and energy.  

What is your heart trying to tell you? I have been surprised that carrying ancient practices such as meditation leads me to live through my heart.

A life lived with consistent direction from the heart can be more loving, centered and expansive. Your life too could be larger if lived from the heart. This type of direction provides for enhanced compassion and empathy for yourself and others. The world needs so much more heart.   

What is your spirit trying to tell you? Your higher self or soul may be trying to tell you something, however, with our busy lives we may not be quiet or have a slow enough pace where we can hear what it wants us to do. Meandering more, spending time in nature or practicing some centering activity can help us realize the changes our spirit wants from us.

What is your mind telling you? The mind can be a trickster because it can dominate the body, heart, and spirit and not be that wise. If your mind is tamed by the body, heart, and spirit, it can work more effectively. Meditation traditions talk about the wild mind or the mind that acts immorally just so the ego can gain ground. Gaining ground but losing one’s moral compass is very destructive to self and relationships with others.  

Whatever your priorities are this year including body, heart and spirit awareness will enhance your year. All the best in 2019!

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What it Takes to Coach for Pride

What it Takes to Coach for Pride

I saw an article in the Globe and Mail on the weekend that outlined how Bob Johnson, the hockey coach, emphasized pride in his coaching. This is a motivating way to coach people and is also important for leaders in organizations. The article stated that this way of coaching was a switch from the aggressive style of coaching using fear and humiliation with hockey players that was common in the early years of hockey.

I bet you are thinking to yourself that coaching for pride would motivate and engage you a lot better than coaching based on fear and humiliation. This is also what they found with hockey players. 

Why would this method of coaching be discussed in a resilience blog? To make coaching for pride happen, the leader or coach needs to ensure they have a positive relationship with themselves. If the leader cannot see what is right for themselves, they won’t be able to see what is right and what they can be proud of in others.

Be aware, though, that some leaders present themselves in an arrogant way, they seem to act as if they are the only ones who have positive qualities. This is actually an insecure way of leading which is not based on a positive sense of self. These leaders need to get feedback from others to verify what they are truly good at. They also need to confirm with others what their skills are and support themselves in those skills.

To gain skills in this method of coaching you may need to:

  1. Start by asking yourself what you did well today. Notice where you feel good about the things you have accomplished. This can range from simple accomplishments such as writing a great email or having a productive conversation to completing a complex project in an effective way. The important thing to acknowledge is that you contributed and made this result happen.
  2. After a period of time focusing on the first point, start to shift your attention to notice what others are doing well. Notice how your team members contribute weekly and with time and increased awareness, you will want to start to notice others' abilities. 
  3. Changing deep beliefs that keep you stuck and focused on what is going wrong, rather than what is going well may require you spending time meditating or working with a coach.

When you are able to have pride in your own accomplishments, you can encourage others to have pride in theirs. 

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