How do you feel after your leader leaves you?  Do you feel inspired or do you feel diminished? What are they doing to leave these lingering feelings?

What can we learn from these scenarios?

Scenario 1

I remember hearing that after a leader left everyone felt diminished as the leader focused on what was wrong with everything and everyone when he came around.

Scenario 2

I had a boss one time who didn’t even know I existed and when I said hi to him he wouldn’t even say hi back.  Talk about feeling low and unmotivated.  I didn’t even want him around because it reminded me of his lack of acknowledgement, care and concern for me.

Scenario 3

Going to a meeting with a leader you haven’t met and the leader comments on how important and smart they are and tells you about some inconsequential problem you have.

I thought about these scenarios and these were my reflections.  What were your learnings and reflections?

· Focusing on what is going well and feeling responsible for what is going wrong so that you can inspire others to co-create solutions with you.

· Acknowledging and appreciating co-workers around you. Helping them feel good about themselves, their department and their organization.

· Focusing on positive self-talk so that you can project these positive feelings to others noticing what they do well and have going for them. In this way you can build your relationship with them.

www.mary-annowens.com

How does a leader focus on this when many employees they rely on are often focused on what is in it for them?

When you think about the people that have impacted you the most, how did they demonstrate other orientation toward you?

Many leaders talk about he impact others had on them when they insured they had work that is internally motivating.  How can you ensure those under you are using skills that they have passion and energy for?

A few ways to demonstrate other orientation include:

• Having values that include engaging others ideas and motivation.
• Spending time listening to others determining what their needs are.
• Giving others the support and resources they require to get things done. This helps employees’ motivation and adds value to the whole organization.
• Caring for others enough to be constructive in one’s interactions with them.

Call Mary-Ann today to ask about her workshop on developing secure and effective leaders.  (403) 220-1240

Individuals often feel that they don’t have choice in how situations and life unfolds. If you don’t have choice you are a victim to external forces and circumstances.

If you are going to lead people you need to be empowered to make choices. We all have choices in most situations; although at times we may not believe we have alternatives. We can choose to be victims of circumstances or we can choose to own and bring our best thoughts, skills and values to situations.

Remaining calm and responsible helps us open to possibilities and choices for ourselves and others.

If you believe you have choice you can confidently relax and seek out alternatives that will best suit the situation.

1. In a competitive situation, do you feel all the competitors could come out as winners?
2. When you receive feedback do you think you have to believe all parts of that feedback?
3. Do you believe that people in senior positions call all the shots on things?
4. Do you feel you have choices if the career path you set for yourself doesn’t pan out?

Call Mary-Ann today to line up your introductory coaching session.  (403) 220-1240

]]> http://www.mary-annowens.com/journal/2012/03/are-you-in-a-good-place-do-you-believe-you-have-choice/feed/ 0 http://www.mary-annowens.com/journal/2012/01/what-do-you-focus-on-when-you-fail/ http://www.mary-annowens.com/journal/2012/01/what-do-you-focus-on-when-you-fail/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:13:29 +0000 maryann http://www.mary-annowens.com/journal/?p=185 You may have heard the First Nations story told by an elder to his grandson.  It is a lesson about focus.

In this tale the elder tells his grandson that he has two wolves fighting inside of him. One wolf is angry and mean and the other is gentle and loving. The grandson looks up at the elder and asks, “Grandfather, which one is winning?” The wise grandfather answers, “Which ever one I feed the most.”

When I interviewed leaders during my PhD study many of them talked about the learning they gained from their failures and negative experiences. Many of them talked about how they got comfortable with and eventually unafraid of failure. Some of them suggested that although we would inevitably experience failure, that it was important to continue to take risks to ensure things kept moving forward.

A number of them also talked about focusing on what they could draw from failure. Many of them asked themselves what they could learn from the experience so they wouldn’t repeat it again.  Some were able to turn the learning into opportunities or to their advantage.  A few acknowledged however, that repeated failures where frustrating and not good for their own or other individuals’ performance levels.

So I’d say it is important in failure that we focus on feeding the movement, learning, and opportunities that present themselves around failure. In allowing our potential to focus on these aspects we are being generative and can grow from the experience. If we focus or feed the failure itself it could bring us down or paralyze, slowing or frustrating our efforts to move forward and progress.

What do you focus on when you fail?

Do you have goals that you are having difficulty achieving? Hire Mary-Ann Owens to coach you to success today.

www.mary-annowens.com

It is important for others around you to bring negative news forward.  If you react negatively to negative news you won’t hear about negative events.  The problem is that negative things will be happening however you won’t hear about it.

So how do you make yourself receptive to negative news or negative feedback? You could:

• View negative news and feedback as a gift.  So thank the deliverer of bad news. The good thing about gifts is that you can accept them or reject them.
• Some leaders continue to be in a good place knowing they can choose or not choose to do something with negative feedback, part of it, or all of it.
• Digging into negative issues that you hear with a solution oriented attitude helps ensure that you keep the information pipeline open.

The Christmas season brings with it challenges where you can practice being positive about negatives.  Family member’s expectations can be at cross purposes during the holiday season.

• If you can see your family member’s reactions as a gift and be open to accepting or rejecting the gifts you can be more open to problem solving in your moments together.

The best of the season to you!

Look into Executive Coaching for you and your leadership staff today.  The money you spend is paid back in 5 times the savings to your organization.

Studies are finding that when women are in senior management the profitability of organizations go up.  Organizations that have women in senior roles are found to be more professional and this affects the bottom line.  Women often are excellent listeners and able to multitask.  Organizations that support initiatives for women are better able to retain and promote women for senior roles.

October 24-28th Chocolate Villa: Leadership Workshop for Women at the Paintbox Lodge Canmore, AB

This workshop supports the development of women’s leadership qualities and capabilities. Participants will gain confidence and self-assurance in their career aspirations and leadership capacities.

Individual Benefits:

• Eliminate self-limiting obstacles for high potential women
• Renew yourself and develop more leadership confidence and courage
• Determine your goals and remove barriers to achievement
• Receive ongoing coaching from a powerful network of women
• Develop a deeper understanding of your authentic self

Organizational Benefits:

• Improve gender balanced leadership
• Reduce turnover of high performing women
• Eliminate unintended biases
• Protect the ideas, skills, attributes, motivation and aspirations of high potential women
• Protect the authentic voices of women in the organization
• Protect your investment in training and develop existing talent

A link for interested individuals is www.chocolatevilla.org or my website at www.mary-annowens.com

I have noticed when interviewing successful leaders that most of them are very humble.  Many of them say they are life long learners.  They feel that they have not arrived and have more to learn.

Quite a few of them also said that they are human and know they will make mistakes.  What is different about them though is many of them aren’t afraid to learn from negative events.  Some of them also said that they try not to dwell on the negative too much and want to focus on the positive.  Some mentioned the importance of not making mistakes a second time, but truly learning from them the first time.

Some talked about not being afraid to embarrass themselves and learning from negative.  They talked about the importance of admitting they don’t know everything and then going searching for the answers.  Some talked about going to their direct reports and getting the answers that they couldn’t know everything about the areas they were responsible for and didn’t want to burden themselves with this unrealistic responsibility.

They talked about getting into trouble when they pretended to know the answers when they didn’t.  Some stated that a lack of authenticity and dishonesty would get leaders into trouble.

1. Be humble and authentic
2. Keep learning
3. Remember that mistakes are learning opportunities
4. Remember that we are human and all make mistakes
5. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know
6. Don’t be afraid to remember what you are good at

Remember that Personal Accountability and the QBQ! Free tele-seminar is on Sept. 15th from 12-1:00 p.m. Mountain Time.  If you would like to be included in the call let me know.  I will be interviewing John G. Miller the best selling author on this topic.

Chocolate Villa – Leadership Workshop for Executive Women is on from Oct. 24-28th.  We have one slot left to fill for this workshop.  Call me today to get registered for this enlivening and energizing event.

Sign up for my tele-seminar on Casting Your Leadership Net: Powerful Methods to Create Circles of Empowerment. This tele-seminar is on Sept. 21stnd and 28th from 12-1:00 p.m. The cost is $149.  This tele-seminar helps leaders make progress in the midst of adverse circumstances and empower others in the process.

Feedback needs to be helpful.  So we need to start with ourselves as leaders.  Can we be respectful, professional, look at the bigger context of the situation, tap into the human condition and be supportive of the other person?  If we can’t then we might want to sleep on it or request some help to get there as effectively as possible.  Another leader, a mentor, a coach, a friend or your spouse could help you with your self-management.  We could ask them to help us to be more supportive of the person that you want to deliver feedback to.

Constructive feedback needs to be timely.  We need to balance the time needed to become constructive with the need to deal with the situation quickly.  If we don’t deliver it soon after the situation, the importance and urgency of the message gets lost in the gap between the situation and the feedback.

We can be helpful by objectively stating what occurred.  Respecting that we may have mismanaged the situation or that the employee wasn’t trained or oriented properly can help us behave objectively and non-judgmentally in this situation.

It is important to be solution oriented. Focusing on bringing solutions to the situation is helpful as it keeps things moving forward.  Soliciting solutions from the employee you are dealing with is important because you can hear where they are at, how they would solve the situation and what they are motivated to do in this scenario.  Often they are closer to the work than the leader is.

Ensuring action and follow-up closes the loop. Creating actions together ensures the situation will be worked on and corrected.  Ensuring accountability loops and follow-up helps both of you to know that the situation will be dealt with properly.  Ongoing effort, action and focus enables the change you want to see happen.

Leaders can ensure they are constructive by:

1. Having the discipline to deal with the situation in a timely way and ensuring they are managing the situation in a constructive way
2. Remembering that they themselves or the organization’s orientation or training may be part of the problem
3. Remembering that we are all have human foibles
4. Remembering that support of employees enables staff to hear constructive feedback
5. Talk about the specifics of the situation, what occurred that needs further effort or correction
6. Deliver your feedback objectively without the intent to judge
7. Preserve the self-esteem of the employee
8. Be respectful
9. Be clear
10. Be solution and action oriented

Let me know if you would like to attend the free teleconference; Accountability Enables Success – Sept. 15th from 12:00 noon to 1:00 p.m.

There are also just two spots left in Chocolate Villa – Leadership Workshop for Executive Women – Oct. 24-28th at the Paintbox Lodge in Canmore, Alberta

By taking responsibility when problems occur, we can move ourselves, others and situations that are blocked.  The following columns contain a few problems and questions to help create movement.  Think of other problems you are facing and ask yourself what you can do about the scenarios.

Problems and Question

Dishonesty: What can I do to model authenticity?

Lack of humility: What can I do to demonstrate humility?

Fear: What can I do to model bravery and risk taking?

Insecurity: What can I say that stresses others abilities and efforts?

Excessive competition: What can I do to ensure everyone wins?

Unfulfilled potential: What can I do to challenge myself and others?

Negativity: What can I do to be a positive role model for others?

Dis-empowerment: What can I do?  What can I do differently?

Lack of confidence: What have I done well in the past?

Chocolate Villa Leadership Workshop for Women:

Held in Canmore Alberta at the Paintbox Lodge from Oct. 24-28th, 2011.  Register early for this event there are currently three spots left. Contact Mary-Ann Owens at (403) 220-1240 or mary-ann@mary-annowens.com

• Renew yourself and develop more leadership confidence and courage
• Determine your goals and align with your future self for powerful results
• Receive ongoing coaching from a powerful network of women
• Enhance your organizations’ culture by emphasizing women’s leadership attributes
• Develop a deeper understanding of your authentic self